Eggs Benedict Arnold

A Moment in Time

Lassie — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:42:06 +0000

FlyGuy and Little Lassie were a few steps ahead of me going to the beach one day. I came off the bridge between our house and the sand and saw this picture. My little Sassafras is giving daddy big attitude. The body language says it all. I think she’s even leaning in to her scream like a professional athlete or in this case a professional Diva.

(*To Beth: Yes, you caught me wearing my watch in my last post! I had to put it on because coordinating the nap and meal times for all the people at the beach house was impossible without it. I’m back in the country and sans watch again. Still struggling to read the sun dial out back. Wishing time didn’t matter so much to me)

Beach

Lassie — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:03:52 +0000

The first time I saw our beach was 30 years ago. We went every year until I graduated from high school. I went with my boyfriend in college. It feels like home to me.

Last week, I introduced Little Lassie to our beach. The house we rented was filled to the brim with my sisters, their children and my parents. We wore tie-dye shirts for the formal picture on the sand. Tropical Storm Fay tried to ruin our moment, but netflix saved the day.

Plans were made to return next year, maybe even this Christmas. Years back I dreamed of introducing my daughter to our beach. I hoped she would love it.
She did.

Hers, Mine and Ours

Lassie — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 13:49:13 +0000

Little Lassie is in our family - finally and forever. I wish I could say it didn’t make any difference, that she felt like my child from the beginning, but the paper from our lawyer saying she is ours did make a difference in an odd way. In my head, I kept rolling the phrase around- she’s ours. I don’t think of children as possessions, but thats how we talk isn’t it? This is MY daughter. This is OUR child. I’ve been saying that from the beginning and even gotten an official letter from the court confirming it. It still didn’t sit right especially after receiving the letter. I wasn’t sure why. I kept thinking I was flawed. This was one more indication we were a family put together with band-aids, a fragile bond at best.

Then, it occurred to me. She’s not ours. We are HERS. We are her parents, her caretakers, her teachers and her foundation. We don’t own Little Lassie. Little Lassie owns us. And after figuring that out, it finally felt right.

The End of the Beginning

Lassie — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:36:51 +0000

FlyGuy flew himself home to IL for a meeting yesterday afternoon. The call came at 11:30pm. I stared at the phone, not wanting to know the dreadful news that always seems to accompany an unexpected late night call. I finally picked up and paused a few seconds before gathering the courage to say hello.

FlyGuy spoke.
“We got the letter, Rosie’s your daughter. She’s our daughter. The adoption is final.”

I whispered, “Wow.”

He whispered, “I know.”

Yes, her name is Rosie.

Timeless

Lassie — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:15:35 +0000

I’ve decided to embrace country life and take off my watch. I’ve been a slave to my wristwatch for years and I’m still getting used to my naked wrist. In college I constantly checked my watch to make sure I wasn’t late to class or one of my jobs. When I became a teacher, throughout the day I needed to make sure my students followed their various scheduled activities which included mainstream, ot, pt, speech, etc.

I’ve never seen my watch as a fashion statment. I’ve always worn a workhorse timepiece - timex, water resistant, indiglo. I wear (wore) it 24/7, so I can check it in the middle of the night or in the shower.

In the country, however, the only thing that is scheduled is bedtime for Little Lassie and I can ballpark that based on the sun. LL lets us know when she is hungry or tired so we don’t worry about nap or mealtimes.

Today is my first full day sans watch and I’m struggling. Time doesn’t really matter out here for me, which reminds me how far removed I am from regular life. I know its a blessing to be so free from time constraints, but its a double edged sword and I’ve learned to be careful what I wish for.