Patience has created a virtual world tour over at The Impatient Patient. It began last week and my submission is woefully late, but hopefully she’ll take pity on me and include me in the festivities. {After all, we do things slow down here in the south.}

Without further ado, here is my corner of the world this summer…

Driving the 750 miles here was daunting due to roadsigns like this… I simply can’t read that fast.

The view we see as we pull up the driveway. This is part of the 50 acres on FlyGuy’s homestead.

A shed on the property that FlyGuy built with his late father.

A lodge on the property. At one time used as a hunting lodge. It has electricity and a fireplace for cooking.

A view from the pasture. The house is nestled in the trees on the upper left of the picture.

Fidget in her favorite spot under the picnic table.

Lawn chair anyone? FlyGuy and I invested in some comfortable folding lawnchairs instead of using the benches or white chairs you see. We sit outside each night and watch the deer eat apples from the trees.

An interesting sign seen nearby.

Cross-stitching is keeping me busy. Here is my first bread cloth. I made it for my mother-in-law who is an exceptionally talented baker.

FlyGuy and I last night before taking a tour around the lake on his uncle’s jetski. His uncle is one of my favorite people, very kind and interesting. We spent the afternoon and evening at his lake house about an hour away from the homestead.

Thanks for taking a glimpse into my life on the homestead. Someday soon I’ll give a virtual tour of my full-time home in downtown Chicago.

Current tick count:
FlyGuy- 8
Lassie- 3
Fidget- 2

*Forgive the formatting problems, still working out the bugs with the new theme

I’m in Virginia now. FlyGuy and I are grazing feasting on garden vegetables and choking on relishing the mountain air. It is actually quite peaceful here. I’ve taken up cross-stitching in what feels like faux nesting as we await the completion of our homestudy. In an effort to assuage my slight boredom I suggested a walk on the trails yesterday. FlyGuy was happy to comply, so we took a 45 minute stroll around the homestead on trails that still exist, but haven’t been maintained in years.

After getting back to the house, I settled in and began cross-stitching again. FlyGuy alarmed me by telling me to chick yo-silf thur-o-la because he found 3 ticks on his legs from the walk. At his prodding, I ultimately went to the bathroom to check myself and found a tick on my scalp. This was no small feat because ticks are dark and my hair is very dark brown, thus making the tick almost invisible. It was so disturbing and gross, I am at a loss for words.

After this episode, I began to obsessively methodically chick ma-silf every 10 minutes even though I hadn’t been outside since our first walk. I also made FlyGuy finger-comb my scalp like a chimp to make sure I wasn’t missing any critters. It was probably about the third tick hunt, just when I was feeling secure I had gotten the lone renegade tick, that I found another one, also on my scalp. The wailing, screaming, and shrieking that was coming out of the bathroom surprised even me and I was the one doing it. I think I freaked out FlyGuy because he took off tick #2 with a speed and dexterity I have never seen before.

Later, he reported, I had ta git it, yewww wir flappin’! Yes folks, I turned into Rainman and started to shriek and flap. This yankee urban gal is a far cry from a southern belle.

I’m not a fan of bugs, but have camped a good deal in my life. I think the most disturbing part was knowing the critters were hiding in my hair and I couldn’t find them. I’m much better with bugs that are obvious and avoidable. Remember, I went to Zimbabwe on my honeymoon. The bugs there were magnificently huge, but after a day or two I had become desensitized and gladly shared living space with them. Ticks, on the other hand, are terrible little creatures that come out of nowhere and take root on your skin. G.R.O.S.S.

I’ve got a strategy now. I’ve hunted down the only tick repellent that is known to man (not deet) and slathered myself with copious amounts of the nectar. I am wearing my very chic, sombrero-like, sun hat with hair tucked up safely inside. Long pants and shirt sleeves are a must. On today’s walk I am proud to say I got through it with no tick action. FlyGuy got at least one. Fidget is still tick-free although she endlessy frolics in the woods and tall grass with no worries about critters. (stupid b****)

Here is my question to the readers, should I cut my hair? If not, I will have to endure nightly tick hunting which entails FlyGuy using a fine-tooth comb on my locks (which have not seen a fine-tooth comb since my Farrah Fawcett wanna-be days of 1981.) Combing my hair is physically painful and lets be frank, FlyGuy already missed a critter on my lid, I don’t really trust his hunting skills at this point.

I’ve been wanting to cut my hair. I don’t necessarily like this length, but wanted to keep growing it until Christmas when I think it will be long enough to donate to Locks of Love. Shorter hair would make the tick war easier and I’m ready for a change. On the other hand, I’ll be 36 soon and I think longer hair as I approach 40 will look witchy, so this may be my last chance to donate the dreds.

Please help, I need a reality check.
Signed,
Lassie, the Ticked Off Blogger

Cut hair pros:

• better for tick hunts
• FlyGuy likes it a bit shorter
• easier to manage
• Possibly get better pix for homestudy profile

Cut hair cons:

• Only have 4 more months before long enough for donation
• Already invested 12 months into growing it out
• Hate feeling like the ticks win
• May regret haircut upon return to civilization in 3 weeks

The home visit went okay. It has taken me a few days to process the whole thing and I’m feeling better about it as each day passes. The visit lasted 2.5 hours. I had a migraine an hour into the meeting and was shaking with pain by the time sw left. Hopefully, I hid it well. The migraine lasted until noon the next day. I can’t forget the pain. I think it was one of the worst migraines I’ve ever had.

Sw said she enjoyed the cupcakes. We also served prosciutto and melon, spinach dip and crackers. I’m no Martha Stewart, but man I tried. Funny thing is, sw never said anything positive about my home.

Not. One. Thing.

Sure, I’m biased and think my home/taste/decor is pretty cool, but even if she hated everything about my home, shouldn’t she pick one thing positive to say- if only to be polite? After she had been here 2 minutes and not said anything nice, I started to obsess and listen for a compliment. It never came. I know its silly, but I tried so hard to impress her with my cleanliness and organization I found myself disappointed with her silence.

On a more positive note, sw told us we will make great parents. She apologized several more times for the delays in our process. FlyGuy and I are confident she will be supportive in the next phase. Our job now is to create our profile that will be shown to birth mothers.

During the visit, sw bummed me out by making negative comments on some pictures I proposed for the profile. She was very upfront with criticisms of our looks in the photos. Mind you, I didn’t show her pix that I felt looked bad. We’re not Hollywood people. {My hair is always unruly, but FlyGuy says it matches my Un-rulah personalidee.} Also, we were told we needed pix at holiday functions with family all around (and, of course, our hair properly coiffed.) Since we do not have any holiday pictures that make the grade, we will be wrapping presents and having a Christmas in July. Just to be on the safe side, we will also make a turkey and have Thanksgiving in July. Halloween is out of the question, don’t want to freak out the neighbors with strange costumes and candy begging. Easter is still being debated.

One last item before I close this post: I’m off to visit my in-laws 750 miles away in Virginia tomorrow. I will be gone for almost 4 weeks. This is why it was so important to get the home study done asap. I am grateful things moved along swiftly in the end, but I have been wicked busy. Between prepping for the home visit, packing for a month vacation and making plans for pet-sitting etc. I am not surprised I gave myself a migraine last week. I’m a rather urban gal living in downtown Chicago and going to rural Virginia will be a big change. I’m looking forward to the slow pace of the south. On a funny note, FlyGuy is already in VA and his accent gets really pronounced when he gets around his people. He called me last night and said,

We gawt iggs, iggs from a fahhhrm ‘no facturry fahhhhmin’ here! These’n iggs were unda thir mama this mornin’.

I’ve decided to take a leap and share some pictures that were chosen and some that were not chosen for our profile. I’ll share more once we celebrate our faux holidays.

Lassie with unacceptably unruly hair- not included in profile.

Fidget’s anti-glamor shot- not included in profile.