Little Lassie is in our family - finally and forever. I wish I could say it didn’t make any difference, that she felt like my child from the beginning, but the paper from our lawyer saying she is ours did make a difference in an odd way. In my head, I kept rolling the phrase around- she’s ours. I don’t think of children as possessions, but thats how we talk isn’t it? This is MY daughter. This is OUR child. I’ve been saying that from the beginning and even gotten an official letter from the court confirming it. It still didn’t sit right especially after receiving the letter. I wasn’t sure why. I kept thinking I was flawed. This was one more indication we were a family put together with band-aids, a fragile bond at best.

Then, it occurred to me. She’s not ours. We are HERS. We are her parents, her caretakers, her teachers and her foundation. We don’t own Little Lassie. Little Lassie owns us. And after figuring that out, it finally felt right.

My letter to Little Lassie’s birth parents is done and mailed. We opened a p.o. box for correspondence and will soon know if they would like to meet with us. It will be our first post placement meeting. I have mixed emotions about this meeting, but in my heart I know it is the right thing to do for LL.

Things have been hectic at the house. It started at church yesterday when I threw my back out. I’m finding it very difficult to lift Little Lassie who at the moment needs lots of love and cuddles because she’s sick. My Little Lass was finally able to keep crackers down for lunch today and she is still smiley, but she has a fever and I can tell she’s feeling pretty bad.

FlyGuy is out of town on business, so LL and I are going through our magazine and mail pile that accumulated while I was in DC. (I can only read “Who Says Moo?” so many times before my brain turns to mush.) We spread out the mail and magazines on the floor and page through them together. At the end of it, the living room is covered in paper and together we take the papers over to the recycling bin. Its a nice way to spend an hour when going outside is not an option.

Bath time at the end of the day is a favorite time for Little Lassie and I. Here are some before and after pictures of our nightly routine. Watching her brush her teeth is a real treat. She’s very intent on doing a good job.

Before:

After:

I’m in a rut and avoiding writing a letter to Little Lassie’s birthmother. If you read this blog regularly you know that the frequencies of my posts are sporadic at best. I never post twice in 2 days- unless I’m trying to avoid something in my real life by spending way too much time online (which is exactly what I am doing now.) I have 35 minutes before LL wakes up from her nap and I promised myself I’d have the letter to her birthmother written by the time I get her out of her crib. Looks like the poor dear may have to linger in bed until she is 12.

The birthmother letter is our normal correspondence of photos and updates with one addition: we are ready for our first post-placement meeting with them. I will be asking them to meet up with us at a neutral place (zoo?) in August or September. I feel weird about this. The last time I saw J&J (birthparents) it was a rainy day in February at the courthouse in downtown Chicago. Per the social workers instructions and after the courtroom appearance, I took LL from their arms and walked down the rainy street, while they watched us carry their daughter off into the unknown. Even writing this minimal account of the day brings tears to my eyes. There are some facets to our adoption story that are surreal and frankly, too difficult to put into words right now.

But, I digress (thus wasting more time and delaying the writing of the letter.) Little Lassie will now be done napping in 20 minutes and I haven’t written one word. My new goal is to write it before I go to bed tonight. Shoot, The Office is on- my favorite show. Okay, I’ll start it before bed tonight. I’ll finish it before Christmas. Yes, thats a good plan. I can do that.