FlyGuy and I were married 9 years ago. Since hindsight is 20/20, this is what I would say to me 9 years ago.

1. Don’t worry, that big nuclear plum of smoke over the church in Detroit is not a message from God saying your life is about to go up in flames. Its a tire fire down the block. Cover your mouth when you get out of the car, the smell is horrible.

2. Don’t bother with birth control

3. Keep track of the handkerchief used to tie your hands together during the ceremony. If you lose it you’ll never find it. sigh.

4. You forgot to pack your sandals for the honeymoon, buy some in London on your layover

5. FlyGuy was not exaggerating, you will not have access to electricity for 3 weeks. Leave the hairdryer and curling iron at home.

6. Don’t let your dad watch Simon while you are on your honeymoon. Your dad will leave the door open and Simon will run away and be gone for weeks. If you have to post Lost Cat signs, put the words $500 reward on the first version of the signs, you’ll have him back in a day!

7. Be nice to FlyGuy’s mom. Your sister yelled at her earlier today.

8. Check the weather before you go to sleep, its going to snow and you need extra time to go to the airport. Ummmm, scratch that- the British Air agents will feel sorry for the newlyweds running through the airport and they’ll upgrade you to first class. The leg room is worth the stress.

9. My dear blushing bride, enjoy this day. It is your first step toward creating the family you have always dreamed about. Be patient, it may take a long time for your family to grow. As the years pass, and your friends and family have many children while you have none, have faith. My dear young bride, don’t worry about when your family will grow, just know it will.

My favorite picture from our day

This next picture is one of the few I have of us from the honeymoon in Zimbabwe. I look like I’m 12 years old (I’m 28 in the picture.) Those pictures were taken a week apart. What a difference electricity can make.

Update on the home flood: Huge humidifiers still taking up half our tiny home. Can’t watch TV, listen to the radio or read because of the noise. Am still living on chocolate and an occasional mug of hot, fruity tea. India has terrible phone service or FlyGuy is avoiding my calls. When I finally get a connection, I often hear FlyGuy saying, “Hello… Hello?? …HELLO?” and then he hangs up on me while I mutter obscenities about the ratty Indian phone system.