I’m in a rut and avoiding writing a letter to Little Lassie’s birthmother. If you read this blog regularly you know that the frequencies of my posts are sporadic at best. I never post twice in 2 days- unless I’m trying to avoid something in my real life by spending way too much time online (which is exactly what I am doing now.) I have 35 minutes before LL wakes up from her nap and I promised myself I’d have the letter to her birthmother written by the time I get her out of her crib. Looks like the poor dear may have to linger in bed until she is 12.

The birthmother letter is our normal correspondence of photos and updates with one addition: we are ready for our first post-placement meeting with them. I will be asking them to meet up with us at a neutral place (zoo?) in August or September. I feel weird about this. The last time I saw J&J (birthparents) it was a rainy day in February at the courthouse in downtown Chicago. Per the social workers instructions and after the courtroom appearance, I took LL from their arms and walked down the rainy street, while they watched us carry their daughter off into the unknown. Even writing this minimal account of the day brings tears to my eyes. There are some facets to our adoption story that are surreal and frankly, too difficult to put into words right now.

But, I digress (thus wasting more time and delaying the writing of the letter.) Little Lassie will now be done napping in 20 minutes and I haven’t written one word. My new goal is to write it before I go to bed tonight. Shoot, The Office is on- my favorite show. Okay, I’ll start it before bed tonight. I’ll finish it before Christmas. Yes, thats a good plan. I can do that.

When I arrived home from my trip on Monday I was happily surprised that Little Lassie greeted me with lots of hugs and smiles. It appears she missed me! While I was away, I wondered if she would care that I was gone because at home we don’t always see eye to eye. I guess I’m giving her emotions that are too sophisticated for a 17 month old. LL was attached to me like velcro the first day I was home. Now, she is finding her independence again and I am enjoying her fierce hugs when she takes a break from being independent.

I am truly suprised at the growth and development LL made in the week I was away. She is saying a couple more words (or at least approximating them well,) walking less like Frankenstein - more like a lady, and taking off articles of clothing that twarted her in the past (sandals and pajamas.) I’m beginning to see that what everyone says is true, they really do grow up too fast. I missed Little Lassie’s first year and I’m feeling cheated, like I’ll never have enough time with her before she grows up.

Here is a peek at Little Lassie’s newest talent, dancing.