Jul
10
Stuck
iled Under (Little Lassie, Open Adoption) by Lassie on 10-07-2008

I’m in a rut and avoiding writing a letter to Little Lassie’s birthmother. If you read this blog regularly you know that the frequencies of my posts are sporadic at best. I never post twice in 2 days- unless I’m trying to avoid something in my real life by spending way too much time online (which is exactly what I am doing now.) I have 35 minutes before LL wakes up from her nap and I promised myself I’d have the letter to her birthmother written by the time I get her out of her crib. Looks like the poor dear may have to linger in bed until she is 12.

The birthmother letter is our normal correspondence of photos and updates with one addition: we are ready for our first post-placement meeting with them. I will be asking them to meet up with us at a neutral place (zoo?) in August or September. I feel weird about this. The last time I saw J&J (birthparents) it was a rainy day in February at the courthouse in downtown Chicago. Per the social workers instructions and after the courtroom appearance, I took LL from their arms and walked down the rainy street, while they watched us carry their daughter off into the unknown. Even writing this minimal account of the day brings tears to my eyes. There are some facets to our adoption story that are surreal and frankly, too difficult to put into words right now.

But, I digress (thus wasting more time and delaying the writing of the letter.) Little Lassie will now be done napping in 20 minutes and I haven’t written one word. My new goal is to write it before I go to bed tonight. Shoot, The Office is on- my favorite show. Okay, I’ll start it before bed tonight. I’ll finish it before Christmas. Yes, thats a good plan. I can do that.

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Comments:
4 Comments posted on "Stuck"
beagle on July 10th, 2008 at 6:06 pm #

I just had to write my first one (5 days in seems early, no?) and it was really hard.

Speak from your heart is the advice I got so I am passing it on to you. Your heart is in the right place and that is what will show in whatever you write to J&J.

Still, I know it’s very hard to put it onto words.

Good Luck . . .


Flicka on July 11th, 2008 at 5:42 pm #

Knowing what you’ve shared of LL’s story with me, I can understand why you’re having a hard time with this. The best advice I can offer you is this: talk about LL. Tell them all the things you love about her, all the new things she’s doing (like dancing) and how much she’s progressed. Ask for the meeting in a few sentences toward the end: “I was hoping we could meet at XYZ Zoo in August. Does the 15th work for you? Hope you are well.” And end with that.

Good luck, hon. I’m thinking of you. You can do it!


christina(apronstrings) on July 12th, 2008 at 6:25 am #

wow. that would be very hard. i can’t imagine. i suspect that i don’t know the worst of it.

well, when i have something to do that i very much am avoiding doing-i set a date and say that if i don’t finish it by that date then i am going to send a $100. check to an organization that i hate. like the 700 club or the republican party. i never have, but that’s because it’s always motivated me. oh, and i write out the check to begin and date it, i just don’t sign it.

it sounds pathetic, but it works like a charm everytime.


the good social worker on July 14th, 2008 at 6:28 am #

You can do this. I totally understand the apprehension and procrastination, because it is awkward and proof that LL is doing well without her birth parents. But know that parents need to know that their children are alright. It reassures them that this plan was the right decision. It is about your and your little family, but it is FOR them. You can certainly do this. It will bring you and FlyGuy one hoop closer to finishing the process. And it validates your family!
You go girl, write your heart out!


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