Negative, Negative, Negative, Negative.
Maybe if I say it, write it, think it enough, it will desensitize me to the word. Negative.

It was the one test I really didn’t want to fail.
Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.
Got to get used to that word again, too. Fail.

I think I did a pretty good job of holding it together all day. I kept my phone off and got the news on the ride home.

What to do now? My mind is both racing and stagnant. There is so much I want to write, but I can’t think right now. I need to assimilate this information into my life. I still find it unbelievable.

When I find myself in devastating situations like this, my survival tactic is to wait out the storm. Time is usually the only thing that eases the pain. So, for now, I breathe. And wait.

I will check back in tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll have a new perspective.